* They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true. As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.

* Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home & devil in bed.But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home & economist in Bed.

* Q: Why do women live longer than men?A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

* Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.

* Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

* Man: Is there any way for long life?Dr: Get married.Man: Will it help?Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

* Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

* Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.